Best Friends
by figured-out
Summary: Friendships, relationships, Sydney.


**Best Friends.**  
_Friendships, relationships  
S3.1, The Two.  
__  
Written because I fought with my best friend._

She doesn't allow herself to think of Francie too often; in a way, she thinks it is betraying her. After all, it _was_ her fault that Francie had died, so what gives her the right to think about her? 

Francie. She shared her life with Francie, she knows, and there was never a time when she thought it would end like this. In her nightmares, the body count was always different: her father, her mother, Danny, Noah, Will, Vaughn, Marshall even, _Sloane_. Never Francie, not even once. She thought there was at least one person she had managed to keep away from her world. 

She was wrong. Francie was dead, brutally murdered, by some angry woman who took on her face's shape and voice and life. Sydney was fooled. When she looked at Allison, she only saw Francie. 

Looking back, she sees the clues, the little things, the red lights that should have flashed before her. Back then, she was blind. Now - two years later - she quits the CIA knowing she isn't that good of a spy. 

- 

They met in high school, junior year; saw something in each other - she still doesn't quite know what - and hit it off right away. 

Francie was just what she needed - a friend, a confidant, someone to sleep over while her father was out of the country. They never did sleep, really, just stayed up all night and talked - about families, guys, even TV shows. Their teachers had learned not to ask questions when they both showed up at school with dark sunglasses on. Everyone knew the tradition. 

- 

Sometimes she wishes she could speak to Will - even for just a couple of seconds. Then she shakes her head and decides to never look for him. If it weren't for her, he'd still be a normal civilian, still have a girlfriend, still have his _life_. 

She never stops to think that maybe now, when he has no one, he needs her. She never stops to think that now, with all that has taken place, he's the only friend she has left, and, with that, the one friend who knows completely everything about everything she was never supposed to tell. 

She never stops to think that she needs him; only comes up with million scenarios in which he gives her a disapproving glance and blames her for ruining his life. 

- 

She introduced Francie to George, a guy who was in her English Lit class. She was the one who thought George was simply _perfect_ for Francie, even though he hit on her first. 

She got her reward when they fell in love and her best friend was in heaven. That was enough for her. 

- 

She sometimes thinks of the one person in her life she can speak to - only now, with him behind bars, she can't really speak to him at all. 

It was her fault that he was jailed - she disappeared and he was so lost he had to get in contact with her mother to find her. She _was_ found, but he was found also, and got locked up in return. 

She suspects, only once, that it was not so troubling for him to work with Irina Derevko, but she never mentions it to him. In a way, she's just scared that he'll tell her the truth - that she is the only one to blame. 

- 

In their senior year, they fought; a real fight, not some ten-year-old banter about stupid shit. They yelled, they insulted, they turned their backs on each other and ignored the friendship they shared for nearly three months. 

Then Sydney got sick, and was ushered to the hospital. Her father came back to LA - he was on a business trip overseas - and until he got there, Francie's mother stayed by Sydney's side. 

Sydney had a kidney stone - she didn't need a surgery, though - and was hooked up to an IV and shot with painkillers. Francie bought her two magazines, a Coke can and an 'I'm sorry' card. They hugged, carefully (because of the IV in Sydney's arm) and returned to their normal pattern. 

- 

Every once in a while, she wishes she had a mother to talk to - someone who would listen, quietly, and give advice. She knows her mother would have given the advice had she been around; she just isn't sure it would be the advice she wants. She doesn't really believe her mother knows something about friendships. 

- 

They moved out of their parents' houses and in together the second year of college. Got an apartment in LA that was close enough to UCLA and not too far away from Credit Dauphine, the "bank" Sydney worked for. 

Living together as grown ups had been their dream, and they did it. Of course, part of the dream was getting a dog, a small puppy preferably, and naming it Konchu. They never got the puppy, because Sydney never had time to take care of anyone but herself, and Francie didn't like dogs _that_ much. 

- 

She mentioned Francie to Vaughn once - when they had met in that safe house in Hong Kong and her life came crashing down on her. She only got the chance to say that Francie was the double, that it was not really Francie, but Vaughn knew all that already. 

She knows Vaughn thinks she quit her job because of him. She knows he has no reason to think otherwise. Only she knows the truth. She quit because she isn't that good of a spy. 

- 

She cries almost every night; curls in a ball, hugs a pillow to her stomach and presses a hand to her mouth - an old habit from when she cried while her friends were in the living room and she didn't want them to hear her. 

She wishes for a friend, someone she could talk to, cry with. She wishes for Francie, because Francie always understood her. She wishes for her best friend, and wishes sometimes come true, but she knows this one never would. 


End file.
